Boom Boom Pow

Hey guys, I almost died.

Yeah, you heard me.

DIED.

I’ll start from the beginning, in the exciting villa of Wayne Nebraska, surprisingly this past weekend I had absolutely nothing to do! (Shocker) On Friday night you could find me in my room with a cup of tea in my jammies watching Pride and Prejudice for the fifth time that week. But at 7:30 my solace was shattered by the noise “I’M THE AVATAR, YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT” from my phone (I like Avatar ya’ll, it’s pretty great) I got really excited about this, because I rarely get text messages.

I had a text message from my friend girl Liz.

Liz: Come to Lincolnnnn. I’m boredddd.

Marissa: haha me too I’m already in my pj’s!

Liz:  Since when is it illegal to drive in pj’s?

Marissa: I am not driving two and a half hours!

Liz: Ugh. Fineeee.

Marissa: You drive up here.

Liz: I don’t have a car!

Marissa: Walk.

Liz: Ha. Yeah. I’ll get right on that.

Marissa: J yay! Hmm… I really have no plans this weekend though..

Liz: Come down and spend the weekend with me!! I have a futon!

Marissa: Oh my gosh. Now I’m seriously considering it. What have you done.

Liz: Do itttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marissa: Is the parking free?

Liz: Meters are free on weekends!

Marissa: Can I do my laundry there?

Liz: Yes.

Marissa: okay

Liz: are you coming…?

Marissa: Yep. You’re gonna have to give me directions when I get to Lincoln. Deal?

Liz: Deal!

And that people, is how I ended up in Lincoln this past weekend. Now, I could tell you all about the things that happened there from our thrift store adventures, to going to Lincoln Berean where their worship leader was in Newsboys (NEWSBOYS PEOPLE. SHINE) But that’s not what this is all about. On Sunday was when I was to leave the shining city of Lincoln, and well, that’s where problems arose.

I’m really bad at driving, like, I’m the most stereotypical female driver you’ve ever met, I sing really loud, get distracted by shopping centers, or just shiny things in general, and I am the closest to a professional you can get at car dancing (it’s a gift).

So when figuring out how to actually leave Lincoln things got a little tricky—you see I’ve always had either a gps, or been able to follow someone when leaving the city, and this time I was all alone (I was petrifiedddd, kept thinking I could never live without you by my si….*sorry*) So at about noon Liz and I panned out a route that didn’t seem too difficult for me.

Now, when I got on the road everything was going just dandy, so I called my madre to check in, and tell her I’d be home in about 45 minutes, and if she didn’t here from me within the hour I was probably lost and crying somewhere in the ghetto of Lincoln. So yata yata yata, we get off the phone.

I swear to you, not 20 seconds after hanging up I ran a red light.

Now I could go into ridiculous detail for you, about how everything DID slow down, how the world went silent, how I totally did NOT see my life flash before my eyes (I was jipped, or it was so unremarkable my subconscious decided to spare me) But I’m just gonna say that in those movies when car crashes make huge crazy noises that you can hear from miles away, that is a LIE. It makes a single crunch; well if you do what I did you just get a crunch. Now! Back on track!

It was crazy, right after it happened I was totally in shock for about 5 minutes, I didn’t know how to function; they don’t tell you this, but when an airbag deploys there is smoke and it chokes you, and it’s gross. But in that moment right after the accident, all I heard was K-Love coming through my speakers, and for that instant I didn’t feel completely alone.

After the initial shock wore off once, I’d managed to actually get out of my car I could look at the damage—I’d T-Boned an elderly couple on the intersection of 44^th and Cornhusker (could it get worse?) I was pretty emotionless until a lady came up to me and handed me a phone asking if I needed to call someone. At that point the waterfalls where in full gear. I called my mom, and told her

Mommy, I got in an accident,

Where are you?

Blubberblubberblubber44blubberblubberblubbercornhusker

Okay, sweetie, are you alright?

I’m fine. i..i…i..i’m fine. But..mommy I think someone’s hurt. I hurt someone mom, what have I done?!

Ris, we’re on our way.

That’s what I can vaguely remember, it happened pretty fast, but I distinctly remember someone rubbing my back as I called, and seriously, that was one of the greatest kindnesses I’ve ever been given, just to feel that I wasn’t by myself in this.

Now I’m going to fast-forward a bit here, and say NO ONE WAS HURT. Like for real, absolutely nothing, and people, that is a total miracle! We were both going 45 miles an hour, and like I said, we all should have died from what I had done. And we all walked away virtually unharmed. I can truly say it was by the grace of God, and I praise him, not only for myself, but more so, for the lives I could have destroyed.

Okay, so back to the scene, have you ever tried to console a weeping half crazed 18-year-old girl? I’m guessing it’s a bit terrifying, because the response team was made up wholly of adult males. And they all looked a little bit scared to deal with me, they were all very friendly though, but I remember them just kind of crowding around me (support in numbers kind of thing) and all awkwardly asking me if I was in fact okay. (ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I just about killed two people! I could have ruined lives because I’M an idiot! I could have died!) To which I replied: Yea, I’m fine.

I finally managed to text Liz, and she and Tommy were on their way to join me in the hospital.

I’ve never been to the emergency room before, and it was pretty unnerving, not to mention I hadn’t stopped crying for the past 45 minutes, they put me in my own room so that several people could either check me for injury, or interview me for the accident. I was forced to put on one of those hospital gowns, and that was possibly one of, no, it WAS the weirdest thing I’ve ever had on my body, hands down. Liz and Tommy finally got there, and I started crying fresh tears, just to have someone who would hug me and make me feel like a human being, after what happened all I could do was reiterate to myself that You did this Marissa, this is YOUR fault.

The interview process went really quickly, my interviewer was a policeman, a big Hispanic guy, he was a little gruff looking, and definitely intimidating. But this conversation I hope I never forget.

So, are you okay?

I’m fine.

Okay, then I have some questions, who’s fault was it?

(renewed tears because it was ALL my fault and I felt awful, at this point I didn’t know we were all okay) *points at self through tears*

No! You do NOT get emotional on me now!

*cries harder*

We can go all good cop, bad cop on this; you can scream at me, cuss at me, anything, just please! Do not cry!

*laugh cries* okay.

And that’s that, I was released to my parents and all I have to show for the entire thing is a dinged up knee and a 108$ fine.

That’s right 100 bucks, for a traffic violation

I could’ve ruined three people’s lives, and that’s all I got.

My mom said something to me afterwards that I thought was so profound.

“Marissa, God has known you since before you were born, and he knew then that you’d get in this accident, and he had his hand on you the whole time”

And that’s what I have for you guys, like I said last time, my God is greater, greater than any powers of the world, man He’s just…Awesome.

The Village

My mother is crazy. I love the woman to death, but yeah, she’s basically a nutter. A very loving albeit pushy nutter, and for the past four years we have continued to have the same exact argument: jobs.

You see, the woman demands I work. Yes, I know this isn’t a bad thing at all (I actually agree, working IS good) however, when that is how every single one of our conversations go, well I’ll just give an example:

Marissa: Hey mom, how’s it going?

Mom: get a job you lazy scum.

Okay, okay, so that never happens, but really—our conversations, at least once, always mention me working or getting a job. This past summer I vaguely remember my mom telling me I have too much free time, and to pick up several more jobs, who cares that I already had a job, but I clearly needed to read less Percy Jackson, and invest myself more diligently in the Arby’s franchise.

And nothing changed when I came to college; I’ve managed to hold her off for the first several months, but those wimpy walls of “but mom! I’m just getting adjusted!”  crumbled when it hit November.

I live in a teeny tiny town, but the next town over, about 35 minutes away is a booming metropolis of about 25,000 people (this is massive in Nebraska) and allows for many more job opportunities. So I devoted myself to finding a job there, first I had an interview at Target, that ship sunk pretty quickly when they told me I’d be working Christmas, to which my response was a hasty NO. Maybe I should have realized I needed to lower my standards right there, but no of course not—me lower standards? Pshhh.

As I was pulling away from my dead end interview I saw the Holy Grail, a ‘Now Hiring Sign’ Now, I can’t exactly tell you where, I was forced to sign a document saying I would not in any way electronically slander the company, so I will instead leave a bunny trail of clues:

5. I refer to it as ‘The Village’

4. IHOP is their competitor

3. Would you like toast or pancakes with that?

2. Are you saving room for pie today?

1. Happiness was here once                                    it died.

So long story short here, I got hired at the Village. For reference sake, I call it that because I’m pretty sure that’s the name of a horror movie—and that pretty much sums up my experiences.

Now it all started out smooth sailing, blue skies ahead. Until day two, day two began with the most awkward forced game of 20 questions I’ve ever lived through. So here ya go:

Do you smoke?

No.

Holy crap! You and me are the only nonsmokers here, well except for preggers, but she used to smoke..

Do you drink?

No.

…Well how old ARE you?

18

And you don’t drink!? You don’t even look 18, I thought you were like a freshman!

I totally did not think you were that old, I thought you were like 14.

…yep.

Well, do you have a boyfriend?

No..

Why Not?!

You do not ask her why not! What’s wrong with you?

Well I’m just wondering…she’s not ugly or anything. Are you looking for a boyfriend?

Not right now…

Oh…well…I’m straight.

…………………….

Yes, so by the beginning of my second shift I’m pretty sure my coworkers had made some…not so correct assumptions about me… and that made me feel…pretty awkward.

Now, I continued training, until they scheduled me for Thanksgiving, and Christmas Eve, and by that point I was pretty tired of things, not to mention the pretty gross conditions. I won’t name names, but I’ll just say: unwashed hands. I felt very out of place in The Village, and this made me pretty sad, but I pushed through days three and four. And then, IT happened.

I’m a big believer in lessons, God lessons, things that change the way you look at the world. Now I’ll be real, with you, after day three I talked to my mom on the phone and told her all the things going on, and that I basically hated my life and didn’t ever want to go back to ‘that place’. But among the things I said, I recall saying how, if this pathetic ‘temptation’ was Satan’s way of luring me away from God, it was just that, pathetic, I don’t give into peer pressure—I never have. And I said it smugly.

On day four I was cleaning in the line-up area, when my manager and two other gals came up. The manager asked me what I was going to school for, and I said counseling but the thing here was, I cognitively thought about saying Counseling Ministries; but I thought that’d be weird to say, they’d think I’m weird. Not two seconds afterwards I mentally slapped myself saying I totally just pulled a Peter, and denied Him. I was then told to go sweep the floors because the vacuum was broken; and while doing this (**okay, you know when you’re doing something, but focusing on something in your head, be it praying, replaying a scenario or just daydreaming? Well I was semi-praying**) and I just asked for forgiveness, for my denial, and along with that, I begged to take that moment back, and be given another chance. And I kid you not. Probably 30 seconds after thinking that, my manager comes up to me again and asks what my major is. To which I proudly responded Counseling Ministries!

The next day of work was the worst of them all; my trainer took approximately 10 smoke breaks in the span of 3 hours. And I just cleaned every surface I came in contact with out of pure boredom. Right before I got off, I asked if I could go outside for a sec, where I called my mother told her about everything, and asked for her blessing.

She gave it, and I went back in and quit my job.

Quit my job of 5 days.

Guys, I didn’t even finish training.

Man, do you have such a story?

But the manager was extremely kind, and wished me good luck in all I do—I take this as another good omen.

So that’s it guys, I’m jobless, but I learned a lesson; so what if peer pressure doesn’t affect me? The thoughts of people affect me; I’m always worried about how I appear, how people see me. But I also learned that my God is greater than any folly of mine, and if he wants me to learn a lesson, then I’ll learn that lesson.