Boom Boom Pow

Hey guys, I almost died.

Yeah, you heard me.

DIED.

I’ll start from the beginning, in the exciting villa of Wayne Nebraska, surprisingly this past weekend I had absolutely nothing to do! (Shocker) On Friday night you could find me in my room with a cup of tea in my jammies watching Pride and Prejudice for the fifth time that week. But at 7:30 my solace was shattered by the noise “I’M THE AVATAR, YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT” from my phone (I like Avatar ya’ll, it’s pretty great) I got really excited about this, because I rarely get text messages.

I had a text message from my friend girl Liz.

Liz: Come to Lincolnnnn. I’m boredddd.

Marissa: haha me too I’m already in my pj’s!

Liz:  Since when is it illegal to drive in pj’s?

Marissa: I am not driving two and a half hours!

Liz: Ugh. Fineeee.

Marissa: You drive up here.

Liz: I don’t have a car!

Marissa: Walk.

Liz: Ha. Yeah. I’ll get right on that.

Marissa: J yay! Hmm… I really have no plans this weekend though..

Liz: Come down and spend the weekend with me!! I have a futon!

Marissa: Oh my gosh. Now I’m seriously considering it. What have you done.

Liz: Do itttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marissa: Is the parking free?

Liz: Meters are free on weekends!

Marissa: Can I do my laundry there?

Liz: Yes.

Marissa: okay

Liz: are you coming…?

Marissa: Yep. You’re gonna have to give me directions when I get to Lincoln. Deal?

Liz: Deal!

And that people, is how I ended up in Lincoln this past weekend. Now, I could tell you all about the things that happened there from our thrift store adventures, to going to Lincoln Berean where their worship leader was in Newsboys (NEWSBOYS PEOPLE. SHINE) But that’s not what this is all about. On Sunday was when I was to leave the shining city of Lincoln, and well, that’s where problems arose.

I’m really bad at driving, like, I’m the most stereotypical female driver you’ve ever met, I sing really loud, get distracted by shopping centers, or just shiny things in general, and I am the closest to a professional you can get at car dancing (it’s a gift).

So when figuring out how to actually leave Lincoln things got a little tricky—you see I’ve always had either a gps, or been able to follow someone when leaving the city, and this time I was all alone (I was petrifiedddd, kept thinking I could never live without you by my si….*sorry*) So at about noon Liz and I panned out a route that didn’t seem too difficult for me.

Now, when I got on the road everything was going just dandy, so I called my madre to check in, and tell her I’d be home in about 45 minutes, and if she didn’t here from me within the hour I was probably lost and crying somewhere in the ghetto of Lincoln. So yata yata yata, we get off the phone.

I swear to you, not 20 seconds after hanging up I ran a red light.

Now I could go into ridiculous detail for you, about how everything DID slow down, how the world went silent, how I totally did NOT see my life flash before my eyes (I was jipped, or it was so unremarkable my subconscious decided to spare me) But I’m just gonna say that in those movies when car crashes make huge crazy noises that you can hear from miles away, that is a LIE. It makes a single crunch; well if you do what I did you just get a crunch. Now! Back on track!

It was crazy, right after it happened I was totally in shock for about 5 minutes, I didn’t know how to function; they don’t tell you this, but when an airbag deploys there is smoke and it chokes you, and it’s gross. But in that moment right after the accident, all I heard was K-Love coming through my speakers, and for that instant I didn’t feel completely alone.

After the initial shock wore off once, I’d managed to actually get out of my car I could look at the damage—I’d T-Boned an elderly couple on the intersection of 44^th and Cornhusker (could it get worse?) I was pretty emotionless until a lady came up to me and handed me a phone asking if I needed to call someone. At that point the waterfalls where in full gear. I called my mom, and told her

Mommy, I got in an accident,

Where are you?

Blubberblubberblubber44blubberblubberblubbercornhusker

Okay, sweetie, are you alright?

I’m fine. i..i…i..i’m fine. But..mommy I think someone’s hurt. I hurt someone mom, what have I done?!

Ris, we’re on our way.

That’s what I can vaguely remember, it happened pretty fast, but I distinctly remember someone rubbing my back as I called, and seriously, that was one of the greatest kindnesses I’ve ever been given, just to feel that I wasn’t by myself in this.

Now I’m going to fast-forward a bit here, and say NO ONE WAS HURT. Like for real, absolutely nothing, and people, that is a total miracle! We were both going 45 miles an hour, and like I said, we all should have died from what I had done. And we all walked away virtually unharmed. I can truly say it was by the grace of God, and I praise him, not only for myself, but more so, for the lives I could have destroyed.

Okay, so back to the scene, have you ever tried to console a weeping half crazed 18-year-old girl? I’m guessing it’s a bit terrifying, because the response team was made up wholly of adult males. And they all looked a little bit scared to deal with me, they were all very friendly though, but I remember them just kind of crowding around me (support in numbers kind of thing) and all awkwardly asking me if I was in fact okay. (ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I just about killed two people! I could have ruined lives because I’M an idiot! I could have died!) To which I replied: Yea, I’m fine.

I finally managed to text Liz, and she and Tommy were on their way to join me in the hospital.

I’ve never been to the emergency room before, and it was pretty unnerving, not to mention I hadn’t stopped crying for the past 45 minutes, they put me in my own room so that several people could either check me for injury, or interview me for the accident. I was forced to put on one of those hospital gowns, and that was possibly one of, no, it WAS the weirdest thing I’ve ever had on my body, hands down. Liz and Tommy finally got there, and I started crying fresh tears, just to have someone who would hug me and make me feel like a human being, after what happened all I could do was reiterate to myself that You did this Marissa, this is YOUR fault.

The interview process went really quickly, my interviewer was a policeman, a big Hispanic guy, he was a little gruff looking, and definitely intimidating. But this conversation I hope I never forget.

So, are you okay?

I’m fine.

Okay, then I have some questions, who’s fault was it?

(renewed tears because it was ALL my fault and I felt awful, at this point I didn’t know we were all okay) *points at self through tears*

No! You do NOT get emotional on me now!

*cries harder*

We can go all good cop, bad cop on this; you can scream at me, cuss at me, anything, just please! Do not cry!

*laugh cries* okay.

And that’s that, I was released to my parents and all I have to show for the entire thing is a dinged up knee and a 108$ fine.

That’s right 100 bucks, for a traffic violation

I could’ve ruined three people’s lives, and that’s all I got.

My mom said something to me afterwards that I thought was so profound.

“Marissa, God has known you since before you were born, and he knew then that you’d get in this accident, and he had his hand on you the whole time”

And that’s what I have for you guys, like I said last time, my God is greater, greater than any powers of the world, man He’s just…Awesome.