Top 10, of being a terrible person...

Often times in these winter months, I’ve found, the worst of humanity comes out—due to:

1)   Restlessness from being stuck inside

2)   The high of Christmas has worn off

3)   And your New Year resolutions are already slipping.

And in order to celebrate the scum coming out I’d like to share some things about myself! And hey, maybe you’ll even enjoy it!

Top 10 Reasons why I am a terrible person:

10. I crack my knuckles, all the time.

Yes, I know, I was told when I was little that my knuckles would swell up and be gross and ugly and I’d never find anyone to love me—but to me that’s like a challenge, so naturally I pop away; during class, during church, before I go to bed…It’s a habit, and I really don’t care to break it…Sorry. Sorry I’m NOT sorry.

9. I stick gum under desks (sometimes)

Now I rarely chew gum, but let’s be real, who HASN’T done this? And sadly I stopped being able to swallow the stupid stuff when I was about 5. I gag it up if I try (and I have, another story, another time…) anyway, so YES I admit it! Sometimes the trashcan being 5 whole feet away seems like a mega leap. So the bottom of a desk seems like a totally convenient spot, I don’t see what’s wrong with that.

8. I put things where they don’t belong in stores.

This is pretty low, but again, I feel like most people have done this at one point or another. That’s not a justification, but I’m really not trying to justify any of these things—I’m just telling. Recently on a trip to target I wanted to show my mom a watch, and she was in the men’s socks department—so naturally I brought the watch to her, when she smiled, and said a firm “no” it seemed reasonable to hide it under some of the nearby clothes. Did my on looking mama reprimand me? Yes, did it change anything? No.

#YOLO #HIDESTUFFINSTORES #LAZYYYFORDAWINNN

7. I eat my roommate’s food.

Now, A-dog is probs the best roommate I could ask for. And she’s been known to purposely get the food I like. However, on those days when my inner pig comes out anything is game. I eat everything—now true, mostly we have 100 calorie snack packs in our room, but still, it’s basically gone when I get to chompin.

6. I leave clothes in the washer/dryer for a long time…

Okay, the worst part about this is that I can’t stand other people that do it too. I live in a dorm—with a lot of other people, and we have two washers and two dryers on my floor, but that doesn’t stop me from leaving my clothes in their resting place for an hour or two after they’re done. Although some redemption is due! I have in fact nicely folded people’s clothes before in order to use the dryer when they’ve simply left them in they’re for hours. But seriously talk about being a hypocrite. I know, I’m terrible. Whatevs.

5. I rewash clean clothes (when at home)

Now I’m like 98% sure I’m not the only one guilty of this, I’m sure we’ve all done it. Especially when you don’t have to pay for anything! So say, maybe you washed and dried your clothes, but you left them in the laundry basket and they got super wrinkly, I find it perfectly logical to rewash them—or at least dry them again to attempt ridding them of wrinklies. I think it’s totally logical, no prob!

4. I overestimate the amount I can actually eat

Now this doesn’t seem to bad on the outside, but let’s put it in terms of me not actually buying the food… yea… story time! My senior Homecoming I went with a good friend of mine, but drama arose in the form of viral bronchitis the week of the dance, so I took the max amount of medication so I could go—however the meal before the dance was my first REAL meal I’d had all week, and peeps I WAS HUNGRY. However, let’s think about this, if you haven’t actually eaten in several days, your stomach gets a little accustomed to not eating. Well, you can’t take me to a fancy restaurant with yummy sounding things, and expect me NOT to want them… long story short, I ordered…some…stuff…and well, couldn’t exactly eat it… shoot. Luckily he was a trouper and didn’t judge, until I was better anyway, and since then I can’t hear the end of it…

3. I like to jam….Okay!?

So I have this thing, this really awesome thing, I’m really big on dance parties…be them alone, or with some other people, I just love to jam, and when I mean jam I mean you can hear it from the other side of campus. I like my music LOUD! I’m sure my ears have already started feeling the effects, but nonetheless, to jam or not to jam is always answered with TO JAM.

2. I use all the hot water

I love baths, and since being in college doesn’t exactly allow me the luxury of a bubble bath or two a day, I instead resort to really long showers. At my home, especially at the holidays when everyone is home, I can be counted on to be that person to take the nice long hot shower, leaving some nice cold winter water for the rest…I’m sorry, when I’m in shower mode I have a tendency to not consider everybody else…

1. I put points on people when driving…

This is list doesn’t really go in any order, but this is probably just a shameful thing I tend to do…Now let me explain the way the world works: When I’m a pedestrian, cars must yield to pedestrians; but when I’m a driver, pedestrians need to get the crap off the road. This also goes for when I’m a passenger in a car, not just driving. And I have been known to tell people 10 points for that person, 15 for the other! Which is a horrible thing to say! Which is why this is a list of why I’m terrible! And yes, I am biased; if I know the person the points usually go up… I’m awful I know, yata yata yata.

Are there any terrible qualities we share?

Luckily we’re saved by grace, and not on a matter of where we rest on the terrible scale, thank goodness.