Power of Prayer

13 days left my friends. 13 is a terrible number.

Like I said in my last post, my heart feels heavy that we’ll be leaving soon. But God is continuing to give me some of the greatest joys each and everyday, this past week has been such a blessing to my heart! Nearly each morning has been spent with several of my roommates and I on the couch talking, laughing, and taking weird personality quizzes (I need to know what grade I’m in mentally, which btw happens to be 5^th, although age wise I’m a whopping 68!) These silly moments will be cherished for years to come.

This past week, God has been hitting me over the head by showing me my own foolishness. And that’s what I’m writing about today! (YAY)

I’ve learned so many things this summer; I’ve learned to approach people and talk about the Gospel, to study the word, to invest in the lives of others, and to play Can’t help falling in love with you on the ukulele!

But one thing that has been missing is an active prayer life. I mean, I pray everyday…once…before I read the bible, and that’s basically it. I don’t engage with the Lord mentally after that. It’s something that I was completely unaware of either, which is pretty scary.

All the students here have been separated into several ministry teams, one of which is prayer team. Earlier this week I found myself thinking Prayer team? Lame. And then I was mentally slapped with a 2x4 and told TAKE A SEAT by Jesus. Because, in truth, what could be more important? It was like God asked me: Explain to me, Marissa Kaye Watson, what is more important than seeking time with me, and conversing with me? Explain to me how you want me to minister to your heart when you refuse to seek me in this most privileged of ways?

And that blew me over, from my nice little seat of self-righteousness, where Marissa is the queen of the world. I repeatedly find myself saying things like “prayer is powerful” but not actively participating in prayer, I find myself wishing things would happen, instead of diligently going to the Lord with my hopes. I find myself trying to fit pieces together instead of asking God for insight. And I find myself pushing God off the throne of my life and placing myself there instead. Because prayer is putting yourself in a place of humility, it’s humbleness in action; when you pray you’re admitting that you DON’T have it all figured out, that you need help, that you need answers, that you need God.

I get asked frequently what people can be praying for me for, and regularly I have no answer, because I myself haven’t been in prayer—because I believe I can handle life. And the truth is, I can’t, I haven’t met a single person who can handle life. We always need something to take our minds off of things. Because life was never meant to be lived by us alone, it was made to be lived in communion with the Lord. And if it isn’t being lived that way, then it’s being filled by everything else.

I guess my question to anyone reading this is: What are you filling your life with? Do you depend on other people to fulfill you? To reassure you of your worth? Do you depend on excitement and fun? Parties, Concerts, Vacations? Is that what you live for? Because in the end, when you live day to day for the next fun thing, that isn’t living at all.

Even as a Christian, sometimes I find myself in this rut of living for myself, trying to puzzle piece importance and value into my own heart. And in the end, I just need to pray. Because no one can quiet my heart, dispel my worries and fill me with love, but the Lord. That’s what my heart was made for, to have a relationship with Christ, to let go of my own self, and to be clothed in His righteousness. And the first step to doing this is by seeking time with Him, in prayer, continually.

So for any readers, that’s where I need prayer, that God would continue to reveal my great need for him. Because that need is great, even when I don’t see it.

They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray."

Mark 14:32

If Jesus needed to seek the Father in prayer, then I definitely need to.

Nebraska girl, in love with California…well, sort of.

I can’t believe I’ve been here for 6 weeks, only 4 left, and already my heart feels the weight to come. Ya know I heard all about summer projects (especially the San Diego one) before coming here, I’d heard how awesome and fun and cool they are. But I don’t think I’d ever heard how truly transforming they are.

Not to say I’m a different person, but my life is already different. I’m not fixed, actually, one thing this experience has shown me is that I’m more broken than I ever could’ve imagined. John Piper has a quote:

“God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of 3 of them.”

No joke, my breath has been taken away again and again at the reminder that God loves me and that’s the big picture. But I struggle with…God loves you. But I don’t do…God loves you. But I don’t think…He loves you. And that’s it. You never get past that. Day in day out, no matter what, that’s the point.

This summer I’ve been reading through Isaiah, and God has continued to point out his plan from the very beginning. His plan wasn’t ruined by Adam and Eve’s choices. His plan from the beginning was to die on the cross, to free the captives and to be acknowledged and praised by all peoples because he is worthy.

I don’t know about you, but that is freaking. Awesome.

But, back to the beginning, along with continual epiphanies and heart wrenching realizations. I’ve come to love California—not exactly the state, honestly (and don’t hate me for this) I miss my cornfields and cows, I miss John C. Fremont Days, and the buzz of a window air conditioning unit.

But if you would’ve told me that I would fall in love with people I’d never met and happily live with 13 other females all under 20, sharing 2 bathrooms and 1 fridge. I probably would’ve laughed.

Then again, God’s funny that way.

I am in love with some of the most beautiful people in the world. Young men who desire to grow in their relationship with Christ, to look more like him daily, rejecting passivity and growing in truth. Young women who are strong, wise, lively, with the most tender beautiful hearts you could imagine seeking to grow more in love with their Savior everyday. How could the idea of leaving not weigh on my heart?

With these thoughts, Acts came to mind,

            Acts 2:44 “And all who believed were together and had all things in common”

But jump to chapter 8, and the believers are persecuted and scattered—Because that’s God’s plan—to spread his good news to all people.

           

I ask that if you read this, you’d be keeping us all in your prayers, because that’s what’s going to happen for all of us on SDSP, we’ll be scattered, returning to our homes, schools, jobs; and we’re taking all we’re learning here with us. Pray that God would continue to stretch us while we’re here and continue to grow us in this beautiful community, impacting San Diego and our own hearts.

I ask specifically that you’d be praying for Wayne, that God would create revival, that we wouldn’t be just staying afloat, but that his Spirit would be thriving there—impacting the campus and the town. That men and women would be willing to let God use them, to take us further than we ever imagined possible.

In the wake of leaving San Diego, I was reminded today that my God is greater than any circumstance. That the amazing experience I’m having here isn’t a once in a lifetime thing—this community is not made out of luck or a ‘good group’ it’s made because of Him.

And he has an awesome plan.

“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.”

            Isaiah 60:1